I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
barbara walters just said penis...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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