I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
