apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
