I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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