I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
