office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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