I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
