my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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