there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
