margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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