It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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