Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
