What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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