We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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