Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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