I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
