That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
you made out with another girl for some wings
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
