I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
