So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
