I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
