so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
