At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
