I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
