I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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