So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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