I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
