So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
