How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
