The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
