Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
