i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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