Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i will never coherently bang her
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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