I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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