NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
