why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
two words...techno handjob
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize