Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
