Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
