there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
