i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize