I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
