She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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