I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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