:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
