Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Operation Purity has been aborted
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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