Acid is not a monday night drug
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
