I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
