yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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