Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
