Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
