Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
