what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
