when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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