I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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