It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
