You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
