so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
3pm strippers are depressing
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize