I'm lost and stupid without you.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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