Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
