Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
